Remember moaning about your body pre menopause and pre-kids? You perhaps were convinced you were ugly, “fat”, your breasts were too small, too big? Then you became a mother or started the menopause, and you come across a photo of your younger self and you then realise you werent any of those things, and actually you wish you could look like that again? You crave to be as thin as you were, as youthful as you were, when your hair was thicker and your skin was plump and your boobs weren’t heading south!
What has this got to do with our wardrobes, I hear you ask?
Thinking like this prevents us from moving on. We get stuck in a perpetual loop of not wanting to move forward because we can’t accept that we dont look like our younger selves. We often hold on to clothes because we can’t face the fact our bodies have changed. Menopause may mean that you now carry more weight to the tummy area and you’re finding that hard to accept. You vow you’ll lose the weight and you will fit in to those pre-menopausal clothes again. You start then beating yourself up for wasting so much time hating your body before, without realising you are just about to waste another 10 years hating this body that you’re in now too.
We keep clothes in the hope we will fit into them again. We refuse to acknowledge how our wonderful bodies have changed and struggle to come to terms with the fact that we need to buy bigger clothes or clothes that are made for our body types.
Of course there are other reasons we refuse to let go of our clothes and it’s important to acknowledge why we do. So let’s break them down.
- As mentioned previously, we often refuse to accept our shape has changed and that it may never go back to how it was.
- We buy one-off pieces that don’t go with anything else. This can be colour or style.
- We feel guilty that we’ve hardly worn an item or maybe the tags are still on it. Or if you’re like me you feel guilty for throwing items away that someone else bought you as a gift.
- We really want it to suit us so we keep revisiting it. Perhaps we’ve bought an item because it looked amazing on our friend or the mannequin, but it looks awful on us. We’ll keep coming back to it in the hope we’ve changed our minds or we’ve miraculously changed enough to now suit it.
- We felt great in it once but we’ve outworn it and are tired of it.
Problem is until we face the reasons why we keep hold of clothes we will keep adding to the pile, refusing to get rid of anything…creating more clutter, more clothes to have the above feelings about and ultimately creating a bigger problem in the long run.
So what can we do?
Accepting our bodies have changed – Be honest with yourself, are you really going to fit in that size 8 ever again or would it be unsustainable to get back there and make you miserable? And if you were to lose weight, aren’t you more likely to treat yourself to new clothes that are more your style (as lets face it it will probably change)? It’s also important to remember that seeing clothes in a smaller size only fuels self criticism and promotes low self-esteem, so get rid! If it makes you feel uneasy then pack them up and put them in the attic, but get them out of sight…you don’t need a reminder that your body has changed every time you look in the wardrobe.
Those one off pieces that don’t go with anything – It’s important to think about colour as well as style when choosing pieces. Best way to combat this is to create a capsule wardrobe. A capsule wardrobe is a wardrobe containing a small selection of items that you can make several outfits out of. Creating a capsule wardrobe with clothes that go together in terms of colour is your first port of call. Then think about only having clothes that suit your body type.
Guilt – Remind yourself that you’ve already spent the money and keeping that item won’t get the money back (selling it might though). Keeping it in your wardrobe will only remind you of the money you have spent and make you feel even more guilty. Don’t let it take up space in your wardrobe, donate it or sell it for someone else to enjoy instead.
You really want it to suit you so keep revisiting it, perhaps it suited your friend but looks awful on you – This is probably because you have a completely different body type to your friend or the mannequin. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your body, you just don’t know how to style it properly.
You felt great in it once but you’ve outworn it and are tired of it. – Fashion changes, heck, we change! As mentioned your shape may have changed. It may be time to freshen up your wardrobe and buy clothes that suit your body type or new found style.
How we can help:
Online Colour Analysis – Find out what seasonal palette you sit in, which colours suit you and which do not. During our colour analysis sessions we go through with you how to create a capsule wardrobe using colour, so showing you that every colour within your season goes with each other meaning you always have something that you can mix & match. Book Here
Online Styling & Confidence Programme, Rediscover Your Identity. In this programme we analyse your body type, show you what clothes suit it and which to avoid. We show you how to create a capsule wardrobe and even give you a Capsule Outfit List designed for your body type which you can take shopping with you. We show you simple tweaks so you can update your wardrobe now without it costing the earth and finally we teach you our unique BOSS,IT™️ formula for a more confident you. Read more here